Queer Identity and Social Media

                So, remember when I touched on the whole, you know, “being queer” thing in my last post on identity? Ha, awkward, am I right? Well, actually, let’s talk about that a little bit more, just not entirely in the context of my own life.

                BUT FIRST, in case you haven’t read my previous post, let’s go over my experiences again real quick. And while I’m at it, let’s also go over the topic of Identity Work as described by Lee Humphreys in her book, The Qualified Self, chapter three. Humphreys describes identity work as these different versions of ourselves that we present to different people, and how that’s reflected through social media. If you clicked the link in the first sentence of this post, this will probably sound pretty similar to the concepts that I discussed there. But this one is a little more fleshed out and goes in some interesting directions that we’ll touch on throughout this post.

                In the context of these alternate versions of ourselves that we create, I (in my post) mentioned that sometimes people in the LGBT+ community, such as my genderqueer lesbian self, need to create substitutes to keep certain people in certain less-than-savory situations from figuring too much out. For example, I usually give my lack of time, abundance of projects, and good grades as my reasons for not having a boyfriend. I mean, not that I have a girlfriend and/or significant other right now either, so it’s less of a lie, I guess.

                But yeah, that’s just me. Let’s go over some hypothetical and not-so-hypothetical examples of other ways this applies.

                Let’s pretend (unless you actually are) that you’re gay, and/or trans, and/or ace, and/or wherever you want to be in the LGBT+ community for this example. Maybe you’ve just now realized who you are, and you’ve had social media for years, and you’re not sure how to bring your identity up there, or if you even should. The people on your social media don’t necessarily know you as queer. Do you want them to know? Does it feel like you’re keeping a shameful secret otherwise? Or maybe, you’ve known for ages, but don’t know how to bring it into your social media. Will it affect your brand? This may or may not be a hypothetical for you, reader, but it’s a reality for many of us. There are so many guides and articles about coming out on social media. Just think about the implications of that. It’s a common experience.

                Turning to a less hypothetical example… Does anyone remember Dan and Phil? I had friends who watched them when I was younger, but I never followed them that much myself for some reason. If you watch YouTube on the regular, you probably know where I’m going with this. Last year, Dan made a coming out video, and I’m pretty sure it was in everyone’s recommendations section. In it, he took viewers through a journey of self-acceptance that he’s been on for many years. And in those years, he kept his queer identity private from the internet. The same can be said for his intentionally-left-vague relationship with Phil. Dan said that he likes to keep his personal life private from the internet (understandably). So, there’s his internet self, which was impacted and updated with details from coming out. Then there’s the other, unknown from social media, self that comes out when he’s away from the prying eyes of a million 13-year old girls fetishizing him and Phil.

                Another example that we saw around the same time is the performance by Eugene Lee Yang of the popular YouTube channel, The Try Guys. His choreography focused on the struggles he’s faced through his entire life as a result of his identity, and ultimately was a dramatic and graceful leap out of the closet. (Seriously, it’s beautiful, watch it if you haven’t and watch it again if you have.) His performance, showing different aspects of himself at different times of life, represent the concept of alternate selves very well, and him going from keeping this part of himself away from the internet to coming out how he wanted to illustrates the topic of queer identity work and social media pretty well.

                A subtopic within Identity Work that Humphreys describes is “Baby Books as Identity Representations.” She explains how it’s a form of scrapbook-y record keeping that women are typically charged with, and how it’s evolved over time. However, I can’t help but think of the social maintenance of gender binaries when I go to Hobby Lobby and see stuff that’s meant for these. By the way, this isn’t “oh, special snowflake sjw hates baby books because gender.” I just think it’s a little weird how obsessed with assigned gender our culture is. Like, why is the girl book pink with little pictures of princesses in it? Why is the boy one blue with pictures of dinosaurs? If you step back, the gendered baby books, the obsession with gender reveals… It’s definitely a sort of social maintenance work, and it feels a little brainwash-y. It assigns a new person an identity and certain interests before they even know what that means. I’m not saying that gendered baby books are the end of the world, I’m just saying that we should be conscious of what we’re actually saying when we gender everything.

                That’s all a lot to unpack. To be honest, I could probably go on a while longer, but I’m going to cut myself off before anything turns into a rant. Talking about my own identity and views online is definitely something that’s a little bit out of my comfort zone. But if anyone stumbles over this and connects with it, or thinks about something in a new way, then I’m happy to have posted it. See ya later, anonymous internet humans.